What Doesn’t Kill Us Makes Us Stronger

It has been just over one year since my mother-in-law passed away.  She died of pancreatic cancer.  She told us October 17th, 2005 and was gone February 20th, 2006.  She watched our little boy take some of his first steps from the hospital bed set up in her bedroom at home.  She never got to hear the news that we were pregnant again or to hold our beautiful little girl (born Jan 3, 2007). 

Those of you who have watched someone dying of cancer know that there are good days and bad.  She truly amazed me that on a ‘bad’ day she could still muster ungodly strength (I think from the depth of her soul) to play off her illness as no big deal when she did not want people to worry about her.

Also amazing was to watch how she handled the news, the treatment, and the inevitable.  She was a stubbornly strong woman who worked too hard her entire life.  She continued to work hard throughout her illness (trying to get to the restroom herself, trying to take her own medications without help, holding her own bucket when the chemo got to her).  I think it was difficult for such an ‘in-charge’ person to let go of the day-to-day, but she had no choice.  She had to let us help her. She had to have hospice come into her home.  She continued to focus on the things she did have control over - her coffin, her outfit, her obituary.  She compartmentalized the reality of her situation long enough to get decisions made. By doing that she made our mourning easier - her affairs were in order. 

All we had to do was honor her.

She chose to die the way she lived.   A strong, positive, hard-working woman.

We are blessed (and therefore stronger) to have witnessed that choice.